New Beginnings

Confidentiality

What’s said in the groups, Stays in the groups

Group Agreement

New Beginnings Singles Support Group Agreement

The purpose of this agreement is to create a safe place to express your thoughts, concerns, hopes, and fears.

  1. The group will begin on time and end on time each evening.
  2. It is our responsibility as a group to keep everything shared within the group completely confidential.
    1. Do not repeat who you saw or what you said in the group.
    2. Do not guess what someone would mind having repeated – just don’t repeat it.
    3. When you meet people from the group in another situation, don’t bring up personal issues they have discussed in the group. Let them decide if they want to mention these issues in this new setting.
    4. Do not share with the group anything that would be harmful to you if it were repeated.
  3. Give consideration and attention to each person in the group as he or she is talking.
    1. Do not speak while another person is talking.
    2. Eye contact and turning towards the speaker will help convey attentive listening.
    3. Be aware of nonverbal communication.
  4. Please note that we have only an hour each evening for our group. We would like each of you to have the opportunity to share. Try to be conscious of the amount of time you are talking.
  5. Your experience, thoughts, and insights give life to this group. Understanding is deepened when people share. Everyone has the option of passing, any or all of the time.
  6. Limit your comments to your own experience. Share what happened to you in a similar circumstance. Tell how you felt in the situation, how you handled it, what worked, and what didn’t.
    1. Speak for yourself. Say “This is what helped me,” or “This is how I saw it in a similar situation. Do not say or imply “You should…”
    2. Share your feelings, hopes, and dreams. They are what make you the wonderful person you are.
  1. Avoid advice giving.
  1. Advice giving is not supportive and in the self-help support group needs to be avoided.
  2. In a self-help group each person is the expert of his or her own situation. Avoid playing therapist for judging.
  3. Listening, rather than advice giving, helps us resolve our own issues.
  4. “Killer comments” are not appropriate in a support group. “Killer Comments” include sarcastic comments, cutting humor, and hurtful statements, and inappropriate body language and facial expressions.
  5. Make the meetings. Consisting commitment to the group is important if the goals of the group are to be reached. Persons missing more than two or three consecutive meetings in a closed group should consider withdrawing and joining an open group until the next closed group is formed.
  6. Many of the persons coming into the 10-week transition groups (Separated/ Divorced/Widowed) are in a vulnerable place due to the recent ending of a relationship. It is important that this be a safe place for people to share. It has been our experience that dating during this group time is not beneficial to the group or the people attending.

This is our agreement for this one hour. We can all share, understand, discuss, and agree with these guidelines. If anyone needs a little reminder about these guidelines, I will try to remind you gently and lovingly. You may need to remind the facilitator, too.